What Brought You Here?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Prince of Darkness. Paging the Prince of Darkness. . .

Right. I'm ready to make the deal. I've figured out what it is that I want. What's that you say- you already know, you're omnipotent? Oh, I thought you were merely omnipresent. Only through next January, right. Anyway, let's get to the business of my eternal soul, shall we?

I want an enchanted cheese drawer. As such it must have the power to produce the cultured dairy product of my desire at a moment's notice in every conceivable firmness, limitless quantity, and at optimal temperature. My cheese drawer will not be subject to any laws regarding taxation, import, or that ridiculous antiquated embargo nonsense. Dead white men brought me quite a lot of distress during graduate school and I beg them leave me be now. I can't think of any other stipulations at this moments, but I think my request is sufficiently ridiculous that I may reserve the right to amend it at a later date.

Shall we begin? I'd like a hunk of Jarlsberg the size of my head, please.

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